Today I just thought I would take the time to let my reader's in to the inner sanctum of my soul and let you all know how I REALLY feel sometimes. This entry is from my most private journal where on a regular basis I bare my soul and write things that sometimes I would even feel ashamed to let the Lord read. This particular entry was written on February 15, 2011. Here goes...
"I am very angry tonight. My mom is being a total hypocrite! I feel VERY betrayed! I cannot believe she did what she did! She totally turned on me and I really hate her right now! I know what I am doing. I know the difference between right and wrong! I just don't get it. I get that she worries, but she has no right to be so manipulative! I am SO upset right now! I hope I get to live on my own really really soon because this whole group home thing ain't cuttin' it neither! I am trying to show people I don't belong here but crap like this really gets to me and makes me want to even stop trying! I mean what's the point?! I can't leave until I am told I can leave anyway. It's out of my hands completely and my mother looks down on any show of strong emotion, which is all I ever feel anymore. I might as well surrender and realize I will probably never control my own destiny. GRR! Everything is BLAH!"
Wah wah wah!! I look back at this journal entry and I almost have to laugh at myself for my immaturity and childishness! I mean come on! Who am I to talk about my mom that way?! She really was only trying to protect me from a potentially bad and even dangerous situation. I know my mother loves me and only wants what is best for me. Grow up Jocelyn good Lord!
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